


Five Times Shindou Hikaru Refuses On Listening To Sai's Advice About Ogata's Involvement And One Time He Did

by Arrysa



Series: Worst Meeting [5]
Category: Hikaru no Go
Genre: Five Times, Gen, Prequel to Dear Diary
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-03-30
Updated: 2016-03-30
Packaged: 2018-05-30 02:19:53
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,032
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6404710
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Arrysa/pseuds/Arrysa
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Five times Shindou Hikaru refuses on listening to Sai's advice about Ogata's involvement and one time he did.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Five Times Shindou Hikaru Refuses On Listening To Sai's Advice About Ogata's Involvement And One Time He Did

**Author's Note:**

> In a sudden epiphany while I am writing the fourth part, this suddenly came to me so I had to write this. Next chapter will be the fourth part of this series of oneshot. Unbetaed.

**1**

"Hikaru.." Sai murmured as he embraces his protégé from the back, his arms wrapped around his protégé's front as the child on his arms tremble with so much emotion. Hikaru looks like a fragile colourful glass that will shatter in this moment but like a child he is, he cling onto the strong arms wrapped around him as if his life depended on it.

Hikaru gritted his teeth, his ears ringing from the loud pouring noise of the heavy rain, his hand gripping his mentor's arms as he let himself get soaked. He let himself be swallowed by the pouring rain because the anguish of his silent cries isn't heard and he couldn't stop feeling the pain as his chest tightens.

' _These people.. they couldn't hear me..'_ Hikaru slowly lifted his chin, the fringe of his bangs covering most of his eyes but he could still see the people walking, passing, and avoiding him. And it couldn't stop the hatred on his heart that's why he closed his eyes to gather his emotion.

' _Sai.. I won't tell anyone.'_ He thought to his mentor with his eyes closed.

Sai tighten his hold on his only family as he shook his head and said, "No.. Hikaru.. you should."

Hikaru opened his eyes and stares around him, the people are giving him wary glances and some completely ignores him. He could hear people whispering about what's wrong with him standing around and soaked. He glances down on his hand then to Sai's arms. His lips curled in a grimace even if he wanted to smile bitterly, his eyes misting from the rain and tears then he made a sidelong glance with Sai still hugging him to answer, "..No.. I won't." Hikaru's sore voice sound hoarse from the continued screaming then he turned towards Sai's arms as he slowly pry it off.

Sai slowly let go, his eyes misting with tears and he closed his eyes then finally said in a pained and resigned tone, "Let's go home, Hikaru."

Hikaru reaches his right hand to Sai's freed left hand and intertwined his fingers on Sai's long pale hand then tugged at Sai's hand while he slowly cough to stop the blockage on his throat then said, "Yeah, Let's."

**2**

' _Sai..'_

Hikaru unconsciously tightened his grip on his mentor's pale and long fingers, as he made a sidelong glance at Sai. Hikaru's brow is knitted together outlining and making his worried expression more pronounced, his eyes glazes with uncertainty and his lips is pursed into a thin line as he made a notion of biting his lips with trepidation. He made a sudden gulp and it sound loud to his ears as he tried to control the beating of his heart however it only made it feel real and for the love of his life Hikaru couldn't stop the fear. He closed his eyes as if in pain and then he looks resigned.

He shook his head and whispered under his throat as he turned his attention on the door of his room, "I.. No.. I couldn't Sai."

' _Sai.. Sorry but.. no..'_ He thought for his personal ghost when the contemplative silent stretches he then turned to look at Sai to gauge his reaction even though he know what to expect already. He was proven correct when Sai stared at him morosely and his other hand merely clutches the fan on his hand tightly. Sai isn't disappointed rather his facial expression is screaming reluctance and then acceptance at his decision.

Taking that expression on Sai's face, Hikaru let go of his hand then grinned, too brightly to be genuine before saying in a loud voice, "I'm hungry!" Before skidding on his steps to the door and opened it with a normal bang then made his way downstairs to the kitchen while making the normal ruckus using his boisterous voice and body gestures. On the background, Sai followed his protégé in a resigned motion while all the way a sad smile is present on his face. He'll accept Hikaru's decision for the time being, Sai decided.

**3**

"Hikaru..! You should tell your mother and father about Ogata." Sai said with a frustrated huff as he flails his arms around as if to drive his point on Hikaru's thick brain. Hikaru only stared at his shoes guiltily like a deer caught on headlight as he refuse to answer his personal ghost because he is determined with his decision and Sai can't make him, not now.

"Hikaru..! Are you listening to me?" Sai said seriously that's when Hikaru lift his chin to stare at Sai's robe then to Sai's face. Sai is looking at him with determination that made Hikaru nods his head in acquiescence at Sai's earlier question but it only made Sai look at him in exasperation.

"You're being stubborn, Hikaru." And Sai said it as if it's not a good thing at the current situation which it is probably isn't. Hikaru sighed then said while his eyes gazes at anything except to Sai, "Sai.. I don't want to tell anyone."

Sai pursed his lips thoughtfully then frowned, "But.. you should Hikaru." Sai opened and closed the fan on his hand in agitation.

"Really, Sai. Stop whining." Hikaru grumbled then huffed.

"I'm only whining because you wouldn't tell anyone Hikaru." Sai said as if in pout then added sadly as he stares at his protégé, "And you need help.."

Hikaru stilled at Sai's words because he remembered what Sai meant when he said help. He shrugged as if in dismissal of Sai's statement but his shoulder remain stiff then he denied, ".. I don't need help." Hikaru's gaze hardens while forcing his mind to forget the image forming inside his head. He sat on his bed in a brusque manner while he closes his eyes as if a message to tell that the discussion is over. Hikaru knew that he is being stubborn but he feels conflicted, yes he denied that he doesn't want help but it's a lie and they both know it. However, even if it's a lie he would remain stubborn about his decision.

Hikaru opened an eye and took a peak at Sai's sitting form on the floor. He saw Sai thinking deeply with his lips pursed in a thin line and it made him feel the guilt even more but he refuse to back down. He closes his opened eye and hummed in thoughtful manner then said in a bright childish tone, "Sai, Let's play Go." He opened his eyes when he said it and the way Sai's brighten at the mention of Go made him let out a genuine chuckle of delight.

**4**

Hikaru with his arms crossed on his chest let out a huff of irritation then said in an annoyed tone, "Shut up, Sai." He and Sai are currently sitting on the opposite side of the Goban after they reviewed his game with his mentor. Hikaru is annoyed that he lost again to Sai but it's not the reason behind his words but because Sai is pestering him again about telling anyone about his problems.

"Hikaru..!" Sai pouted when he told him to shut up and he couldn't help but to roll his eyes at Sai's antics. Hikaru couldn't help but wonder that they both sounded like they are only thinking about menial problem and it brought a bitter smile on his face at the irony.

".. Why are you being stubborn Hikaru?" Sai said in a slight annoyed tone.

"Because I can and I am." Hikaru then reaches his hands on the Goban as he separate it by color.

"Then I can be as stubborn as you are." Sai finally said as he looks at him.

"Fine by me." Hikaru answered flippantly. "If I don't know you, Hikaru.. I would say that you doesn't care about it but I know you.." Sai answered then stares at his protégé with a bitter smile.

Hikaru saw Sai's expression and it made his finger twitch while he is putting the Go stones on the Goke. With another sidelong glance at Sai's expression, Hikaru stopped with his action. He curled his right hand around one of the Go stones then immediately throws it at Sai's face.

That action made Sai's eyes widen when the stone was directed to him then it passes on his shoulder. After three seconds Sai saw his protégé's smirk that made him huffed with indignation then he reprimanded him, "That's rude, Hikaru! Don't just throw stones all of the sudden!"

"It's because you're so annoying, Sai." Hikaru said with barely concealed amusement then he grinned.

Sai huffed indignantly then said, "I'm not annoying, I am stubborn."

"Whatever, you say Sai." Hikaru said in dismissal. He felt glad to see that he managed to distract Sai and the guilt he felt remains, because he is the reason that Sai is sad.

**5**

"Sai..! What do you want me to do so that you will stop pestering me about telling anyone?" Hikaru complained in an annoyed tone while his facial expression is otherwise showing that he wanted to bang his head on the Goban because of annoyance.

"Hikaru.. Can't you see what you are doing to yourself?" Sai said after he nibbled on his lower lip as he stares at his protégé's eyes with painful looking eyes then added in a soft voice, ".. and I will keep telling you otherwise until you finally give up."

Hikaru expression changed, now he look lost then he sighed, "Sai.. I don't want to tell anyone and I don't want us to fight over it." He shook his head in resignation then added, "But you still won't listen to me."

The silence that met after that admission is an answer enough however Hikaru already knew the answer even before that so it doesn't surprise him to say the least.

"Sai.. you're really stubborn." Hikaru finally stated.

Sai hummed in agreement then said, "I'm not. If you beat me in a game then I will stop being stubborn about that." He stares at his protégé with eyes glinting and silently telling him that it is not a possibility – right now. Hikaru stares at his personal ghost with wide eyes and finally he glared at him.

"That's unfair Sai! You know I can't beat you..!" He complained loudly as he made panicky gestures with his arms then thinking to himself on how unfair that is because Sai is baiting him. He harrumphed as he crossed his arms on his chest with indignation then glare at the floor in concentration.

After few minutes, Hikaru decided then proclaimed, "I'll beat you, Sai!"

Then they start to play the game they both love with Sai smiling knowingly at his protégé because no matter how they look at it, Hikaru will not be able to beat Sai for the time being.

**6**

Sai slowly pulled his protégé on his arm and he slowly cling on his arm. Hikaru buried his face on the crook of his neck as he sob on the arm of the person who is always there for him.

' _Sai.. I don't want to tell anyone but.. I want to..'_ Hikaru trembles at his emotion and Sai continued soothing this scared child. Sai continued murmuring softly to his protégé, his voice low and pained. He don't want Hikaru to feel like this, and it will continue to grow until he let it out but Hikaru is a stubborn child.

"It's okay, Hikaru.. But you need to tell someone.. anyone because I don't want to see you like this.." Sai whispered in pain as he continued petting Hikaru's back. Hikaru's sobs only grow stronger and he murmured in a soft and weak voice, "Sai.. It hurts.."

Sai closes his eyes and he tightened his embrace and he whispered, "I know.. I know and I'm sorry Hikaru.."

Hikaru shook his head to deny his mentor's statement but it only serve to make Sai feel helpless and guilty. "Hikaru.. Please tell anyone.. or anything." Sai plead one more time while Hikaru continued to cry and the only answer Sai receives is the slight nodding and the boy returns the same desperate embrace.

**Author's Note:**

> Feedbacks?


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